Aruba Has Commitment Issues: A Lesson in Detours

Written by Matt & Linda (empty nesters with a Wi-Fi addiction and a refusal to live on autopilot)

We have been using the phrase “desert island” wrong our entire lives.

Because Aruba is not a deserted island.

Aruba is a desert island.

As in cactus, rocks, wind that means business, and sand that shows up in multiple personalities, including big sand mountains that make you forget you are on an island at all.

Which was not exactly what we expected when we showed up in Aruba.

Then again, maybe that’s the point.

*Desert in front. Ocean in back. Aruba in a nutshell.*

Aruba Was Not What We Expected

We were in Aruba on a house sit, and the homeowners were kind enough to let us use their car.

So naturally, we went exploring.

There was no grand itinerary or laminated checklist. Mostly it was some version of, “Let’s go see what’s over there.”

And Aruba got weird almost immediately.

Cactus, rocks, wind that means business, big piles of sand. Then cliffs. Then Caribbean water. Then more cactus.

At one point we looked around and realized we had apparently crossed over the rainbow and arrived somewhere completely different.

Except we hadn’t.

We were still in Aruba.

That was the part that kept messing with us.

When a Place Refuses to Be One Thing

Aruba apparently has commitment issues. It refuses to pick a personality. It’s beach and desert, soft sand and sand mountains, wild cliffs and calm water. Cactus and cocktails.

Pick a lane, Aruba.

Except… why?

We humans love putting things into neat little boxes. Places, jobs, relationships, other people, ourselves. We decide what something is, and then we get strangely uncomfortable when it turns out to be something else too.

Aruba didn’t seem particularly bothered by any of that. It could be beautiful turquoise water in one direction and look like somebody dropped Arizona into the Caribbean in the other.

No identity crisis required.

It was just Aruba.

And I started thinking maybe we make this harder on ourselves than it needs to be.

And Then There Were Donkeys

Because apparently cactus, cliffs, beaches, and sand mountains weren’t enough, Aruba threw in donkeys.

Yes. Donkeys.

They were standing beside the road, hanging around yards, and halfway inside bushes like hiding munchkins who had made several questionable life choices and were comfortable with every one of them.

No warning. No explanation. Just donkeys casually existing.

At some point you stop asking Aruba to make sense and start enjoying the fact that it doesn’t.

And maybe there’s something to that.

Cactus, cliffs, wind, mules, ocean. Aruba, in order of appearance.

When Detours Start Looking Fun

On one of those drives, we were cruising along when a group of four-wheel UTVs buzzed past us, heading straight toward what we had immediately started calling the sand mountains.

We followed them as far as our little house-sit car was willing to participate.

Then Linda and I watched the UTVs disappear into the distance and looked at each other.

You know where this is going.

HELL YEAH. WE’RE DOING THAT.

We went home and booked the tour.

There wasn’t a committee meeting, a spreadsheet, or a five-year strategic UTV plan. We saw something that looked like fun and made room for it.

Simple as that.

The funny thing is, that kind of decision gets easier the more you practice it.

I’m not talking about reckless decisions or blowing up your life because somebody drove past you wearing goggles. I’m talking about noticing when something lights you up and occasionally saying yes before you have enough time to talk yourself out of it.

We didn’t go out that day looking for a lesson. We were just driving around an island that couldn’t seem to make up its mind.

Desert. Ocean. Cliffs. Donkeys. Sand mountains.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, a pack of UTVs went flying past us and changed tomorrow’s plans.

That’s one of the things we’ve learned about building a life you actually want.

You still make plans.

You just leave enough room for something better to drive by.

Maybe You Don’t Have to Pick One Personality Either

There was a time in our lives when we were very good at knowing what came next. Work, kids, business, responsibilities, repeat.

None of those things were bad. In fact, a lot of them were pretty damn good.

But eventually you can get so used to the version of yourself that got you here that you forget you’re allowed to become something else too.

That’s one of the reasons No 2 The Quo exists.

Not because everything needs to change. And definitely not because every decision needs to become some dramatic leap off a cliff.

Sometimes it’s smaller than that.

Maybe you’ve always been the responsible one and now you want a little adventure. Maybe you built the career and now you want work that means something different. Maybe the kids left and the life that worked beautifully for twenty years suddenly has some empty space in it.

Maybe you like the beach and the desert.

Maybe both can be true.

Aruba didn’t need to choose between cactus and cocktails.

Why are we so convinced we have to choose one permanent version of ourselves?

That might have been my favorite thing about the island. Not the beach, not the sand mountains, not even the donkeys.

Aruba was perfectly comfortable being all of it.

There’s some freedom in that.

You don’t have to throw away the person you’ve been to make room for the person you’re becoming. You can keep the good stuff, add something new, take a detour, and see what’s over there.

Sometimes a different road doesn’t mean you got lost.

Sometimes it means you finally stopped driving on autopilot.

Helmets optional. Detours allowed. Autopilot disengaged.

Planning Your Own Aruba Detour?

We kept the practical travel side of this story over at our sister site, Matt & Linda Travel.

If you’re actually headed to Aruba and want to know about exploring beyond the resorts, driving the island, Arikok National Park, UTV tours, donkeys, and the wilder side of Aruba:

→ Read Aruba Beyond the Beaches: The Desert Side of One Happy Island on Matt & Linda Travel

And if you’re here because the bigger question is less “Where should I go?” and more “What do I want the next part of my life to look like?”

Stick around.

That’s what No 2 The Quo is for.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.
With love and laughter,
Matt & Linda
No 2 The Quo

Want more adventures?
👉 Aruba: The Day We Accidentally Walked Onto the Set of Cocktail

Or see how all this became possible:
👉 Why We Said No 2 The Quo After the Kids Left Home

Before We Had the Framework, We Had the Stories

We didn’t start No 2 The Quo with a tidy little life design model and a color-coded spreadsheet.

Shocking, I know.

We started with a few lived decisions. Big ones. Messy ones. The kind where you say, “This is probably fine,” while quietly wondering if you have lost your entire mind.

These three stories explain how we got here before we had the words Declaration of Intendependence™ to describe what we were doing.

These are the origin stories behind No 2 The Quo.

👉 Why We Said No 2 The Quo After the Kids Left Home
👉 It Took Two Years to “Suddenly” Change Our Lives
👉 Yes, We Really Did Pack Our Whole Life Into a Car and Leave

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