The Unsexy Decisions That Made the Whole Thing Real
Declaration of Intendependence™, Part 3: The First Planks
Series hub:https://no2thequo.com/declaration-of-intendependence/
In case you missed it: Part 2: Private Alignment
Small decisions… big change.
Most people think the first move toward a new life is dramatic.
Quit the job.
Sell the house.
Do something that makes your family text, “Are you okay?”
But our first moves were not dramatic.
They were unsexy.
They were small yes/no decisions that did not look impressive in the moment…
but they made the whole thing real.
Vision gives pain a purpose
We have a saying:
Vision gives pain a purpose.
When we know the life we want to design, and the work that makes it possible, the decisions to the questions are already made.
If it does not get us to the vision, the answer is no.
If it does get us to the vision, the answer is yes.
Simple.
Also… not simple.
Because it is a yes for now until it’s not.
Crazy, huh?
The decisions we make are based on what we know right now, in the season we are in.
The decision we make today might only get us to the place where another decision needs to be made.
And that new decision might override the last one.
That does not mean we made the wrong decision.
It means the decision did its job.
It got us to the next decision-making moment.
Things changed.
Another detour showed up.
So we decide again.
Flow baby flow.
This is the whole point of small decisions big change.
Vision makes the yes/no easier.
We are big swing people
We have always been a little spontaneous.
We take big swings.
We do not suggest this for everyone.
We met in a bar singing karaoke.
Eight weeks later, we eloped.
We met our parents after.
Not long after that, we packed up all our belongings and moved from one side of the country to the other.
We did not fully know what the other side held.
It just felt right.
So when we talk about planks, just know this:
We are not telling you to copy our exact level of chaos.
We are telling you the mechanism is real.
Life is happening for you
There is a force bigger than ourselves that wants to work with you.
For you.
Not against you.
Call it the universe.
Call it nature.
Call it frequency.
Call it vibes.
Call it coincidence.
We call it God.
You can bring your own label.
Either way, the mechanism is real.
Another saying we live by is:
Life is happening for you and not against you.
Anything going on in your life can affect you negatively or positively.
Both/and.
It is the way we see it that decides for or against.
We walked into that karaoke bar thinking one thing.
We walked out with each other.
(35 years this November.)
So here is a question worth asking a lot:
If life is happening for me… what else can this mean?
No wrong decisions
We do not believe there are wrong decisions.
The only wrong decision is the one you do not make.
The only rule is: you do not get to sit still and complain nothing is happening.
Make a move.
Even if it is a small one.
Especially if it is a small one.
The First Planks
These are not inspirational.
They are practical.
They are the kind of planks that do not look impressive on Instagram.
Good.
That means they might actually work.
Plank 1: Keep the lights on anyway
This was Matt’s La-Z-Boy season.
Not glamorous.
Not the dream.
Not the “and then we found our purpose” montage.
It was: we still have bills.
We still have responsibilities.
We still have to be adults.
So Matt did what he had to do.
And here is the part people miss.
Sometimes the first plank is not your passion.
Sometimes the first plank is getting your confidence back.
Sometimes it is proving to yourself:
I can still move.
I can still learn.
I can still win.
That mattered.
A lot.
If you want the longer version of that season, it’s in our empty nest origin story: Why We Said No 2 The Quo After the Kids Left Home.
Plank 2: Stop upgrading the old life
This is where the questions are already answered.
Will buying this get us into the car and on the road?
Will it fit in the car?
If the answer is no, the answer is no.
Stop upgrading and start downgrading.
Does this stay or does this go?
It is not quite “does this bring me joy?”
It is more like:
Does this fit the plan? Yes or no.
This one plank changes everything, because it ends the endless debate.
No more “maybe.”
No more “we’ll see.”
No more buying stuff for a life we are actively leaving.
Plank 3: Practice freedom in small doses
When we realized house sitting was going to be “the way,” we did not immediately go full send.
We signed up.
Then we tested it.
Our first sit was Washington, DC, at the height of the cherry blossom festival.
A free place to stay in DC during the most popular season.
Life is happening for you.
Then we did a few more somewhat local sits to really get the feel.
That confirmed the decision.
Because if we hated it, then that decision was not the one.
For now.
And that is okay.
That is life design.
You do not need to leap.
You need to test.
If you want the nuts-and-bolts version of how house sitting works, we broke it down here: House Sitting 101.
Plank 4: Decide with confidence, not denial
Here is a line we keep coming back to:
Not “I’m fine” ready. Actually ready.
When we left the church, Matt’s confidence took a hit.
And if you know him, that probably surprises you.
Most people never saw him anything but confident.
But it was real.
He had to get to a place where he believed in himself again.
And this is where Linda comes in.
Linda was the one who kept asking the better questions.
The kind that do not let you hide in “maybe.”
The kind that turn “someday” into “decide.”
How do you know you are ready?
You can say yes and no with confidence because the decisions are already made.
You are not negotiating with yourself.
You are just saying it out loud.
How you know you’re actually building
You are one step closer than you were yesterday.
You can see movement.
You can feel movement.
Even if nobody else notices yet.
That is what planks do.
They create proof.
The plank you can build this week
If you are reading this and thinking, “Cool story, but we are not packing our life into a car,” good.
Neither were we.
Not at first.
Start here:
Pick one decision you have been avoiding.
Then ask:
Does this move us toward the vision or away from it?
If it moves you toward it, it is a yes.
If it moves you away from it, it is a no.
And if you do not have a full vision yet?
Borrow ours for a second:
A life you love.
And the work that makes it possible.
That is enough to start.
Make a move.
One plank.
One inch of progress.
One less thing in the way.
One more proof that you are not stuck.
Hell yeah. We’re doing that.
Helmets optional. Detours allowed. Autopilot disengaged.
What’s Next? Part 4: Be Tenacious (The Long Game)
“The Work Kept Morphing. The Intention Never Did”
How to keep going when building a new life takes longer than expected.
Before We Had the Framework, We Had the Stories
We didn’t start No 2 The Quo with a tidy little life design model and a color-coded spreadsheet.
Shocking, I know.
We started with a few lived decisions. Big ones. Messy ones. The kind where you say, “This is probably fine,” while quietly wondering if you have lost your entire mind.
These three stories explain how we got here before we had the words Declaration of Intendependence™ to describe what we were doing.
These are the origin stories behind No 2 The Quo.
👉 Why We Said No 2 The Quo After the Kids Left Home
👉 It Took Two Years to “Suddenly” Change Our Lives
👉 Yes, We Really Did Pack Our Whole Life Into a Car and Leave
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